Life Moves Pretty Fast. If You Don’t Stop and Look Around…

August 7, 2009

Ferris Bueller
Ferris Bueller

 Rest in Peace John Hughes…


I want to write a message in support of @fatcyclist– whose writing has been an absolute inspiration.  The fact that he has felt so willing to let us all into the day-to-day journey of his struggles as a loving husband, devoted father, and cancer advocate is extraordinary.  I hope that he finds solace, and comfort after the tragic passing of his wife, Susan, and continues the work that he has done in railing against cancer. His blog may be found in the blogroll to the right.

With that in I went for a run after coaching the 8th and 9th grade football players, at the middle school that I teach. Dedicated to run like the example that Elden’s (Fatcyclist) wife, Susan has displayed in her battle with metastatic breast cancer.  The run was a struggle after coaching and working with the guys for two hours in the sun.  I just went for as long as my body would physically let me go. I relived much of what I had gone through with the passing of my father, and I simply felt pure empathy for this man, whom I have never met, but feel for.  What he is going through, as what others have gone through, is a heart wrenching, life changing moment.  It is the proverbial fork in the road… these moments, I believe are the ones that define you.  You have a very select set of possibilities to choose from… 1.) You can allow the anger, frustration, guilt, sadness to overwhelm and consume you, where who you were and are becomes almost unrecognizable or 2.) you can fight back – use what has happened to you and improve.  This doesn’t mean that you forget the negative emotions that will reside in you, but to utilize them, channel them to something that will improve you or those around you.  

For me, this is my second time through these emotions.  The first when I was fourteen and my brother was suddenly and shockingly taken from me on June 7, 1994 in a car accident as he was returning from a french club dinner and now again, with the passing of my father on March 22, 2009.  These two incidents are drastic in comparison. My brother’s quick and surprising and my father’s still fast, but decidedly longer in the actual act.  I must admit that they feel different and I can’t quite pin down why there are differences.  As these events have happened, I feel it must be like watching a movie where the director uses a hand held camera and the scene is a myriad of super slow  motion where the screen shakes and and the only sound effects are loud explosions and drawn out screams, but in reality all of that is taking place in my head.  When I think about it… I could easily give into the anger that rages… I’m not even thirty years old and I’ve already been present for the burial of half of my family. It’s disturbing and unnerving… think for a moment of your situation (and some of you may have it worse than I do, I completely feel for you and can not even begin to think of how you handle it.)  Imagine, in the next few years if half of what you’ve known and loved has been taken from you, never to be seen of, or heard of again, except for the images of photographs, and video. How will you respond to that moment? What path will you take and what legacy have you left for others to follow and admire?

So in the words of Ferris Bueller “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it” — Ferris Bueller

Take a moment and be thankful, for the moments that you have with those special people that surround you.  Tell them what you often are afraid to tell them.  Otherwise you might have just missed it…


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