Family and Friends… Part 1 of 2

August 19, 2009


Alright… I apologize for my lack of post, yesterday. I was caught up with packing my house and going to my leadership meetings for the middle school that I teach in so I didn’t do it… I’m sorry, I’ll try to not let it happen again… dude, I said I’m sorry!  But seriously, I’m posting at 1:17 AM the same night so in my head I’m still right on…

As promised, I said that I would talk about the craziness that is the fam.  I’m infinitely frustrated with my grandfather.  The only grandfather I have and have ever known.  The man is a well of compassion, empathy, and familial love. I say this with all sarcasm intended.  Ever since I have known the man, he has been a very rigid, particular man who prefers that things be done in his precise manner, no matter how illogical and irrational that might be. To give you some ideas into his character, this is the man that when my brother died back in 1994, he came up to me as a young 14 yr old adolescent and handed me a pack of Popular Mechanics Magazines and told me to, “Read these and you’ll be fine.” Now you have to understand, Popular Mechanics and me? We don’t mix, in fact I don’t think I’ve ever actually read the cover all the way through.  Now, I know “it’s a great magazine”, but really who hands that to a 14 year old kid, and says “through engineering you will find solace?” I was not a burgeoning, Howard Roark, therefore that logic failed miserably on me.  For those of you playing along at home that last reference … The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand.  3 Points if you knew the book and author. 1 point for either the book or author alone. Please keep your own score, possible prizes at the end.

In my grandfather’s defense, he is a survivor of World War II and therefore, I can understand his gruff demeanor towards death, because he witnessed so many of his friends and comrades perish during the War. Therefore, I can understand his idea of distancing oneself from emotionality through distraction, but a little bit of compassion, I think is a good thing. 

Fastforward to 2009 – My father gets ill and my grandfather’s sense of commiseration strikes again. He is so moved of my father’s illness and eventual passing that he refuses to leave Florida to come to the funeral, or better, yet doesn’t even want to send a card or flowers even though they would be symbolic and meaningful to my mother and me [he was informed of their importance and still had to be brow beaten into eventually doing it.

The flowers in question... very nice..

The flowers in question... very nice..

 “Good Grief!”  (Points for those of you who said The Peanuts cartoons.  1 Point for the reference another 2 points if you said, it’s Charlie Brown’s catch phrase.) what a mess.

He meanwhile, is dealing with his own wife  who is suffering from Alzheimer’s (horrible disease and truly very depressing to watch) and his inability to take care of his wife and his property, due to limited mobilit.  We (his daughters and me [grandson]) have been trying to convince him to move to an assisted living location to help his wife and to relieve some of the stress from himself and those that try to care for him.  Plus, by moving it would bring him closer to the rest of us. Currently, he lives in the Poconos Mountains, which are 3 hours away from his closest relations. 

Because of these events, I have been traveling up there regularly to tend to check in on them and tend to his home.  However, he claims to 1.) Not remember me coming there and in fact falsifies my visits as having not been there at all in the past 3-5 months? For the record, I was just there two weeks ago.  I would stay and take of them more, but I’m going through my own Samuel Beckett phase, where I feel that I leap into different places and situations. (Come on Quantum Leap! I know that one was tricky! 4 points)

 I’m currently in the process of selling my own home, taking care of my parent’s property, and my grandfather’s, all the while preparing for the upcoming school year. I’m swamped. 2.) Furthermore, my grandfather has placed limitations on how members of the family can be at his house at once… we must come up 1 at a time? I can’t even begin to understand why? 3.)  He has agreed to move to an assisted living location, but since his agreement, he has reneged and now wants to stay up in the mountains through the winter! This is something he has not done during the entire existence of my life. I’m just at wits ends as to how I can reason with the man.  Meanwhile, things get worse for my grandmother who recently went MIA in her own neighborhood, because of the dilbiltating behavior of Alzheimers.

All of this can be overcome and it’s not the end of the world, but is a world of frustration that needs to be sifted through in a short amount of time… I feel like I’ve crossed over into “a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man’s fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination… (Last points for the round… Twilight Zone 3 points.

Total points for this post = 13…

Part 2 Friends posting later today. That will be much more positive. This was my rant for the day.


One Response to “Family and Friends… Part 1 of 2”

  1. Leigh Says:

    You will probably be shocked and appalled, but I only missed the Quantum Leap references. Never watched that show…

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